No Regrets
by nakiko
Summary: *oneshot* Squall gets drunk and wakes up next to someone he didn't expect.......


No Regrets:Chapter One:  
  
(Have you ever felt so sick at yourself,so ashamed of something it burns,deep in the pit of your stomach,clawing in the dark recesses of your mind like carrion tearing at a corpse....have you ever wanted,so badly to go back in time,not say the things you said,take back the gestures,the touches and the feelings..........Hyne,then you know what it's like,the rush of guilt that I awoke to this morning.....)  
  
Squall rolled over,sunlight and the melodies of the birds outside his window invading the comforting cradle of sleep he clung to for a few blissful seconds.  
  
"Uhh....."  
  
(......What the....?)  
  
A body,suddenly leaning against him,the warm brush of skin on his back,shallow breathing that seemed to echo off the walls of Squall's still clouded mind.A shift,underneath the sheets,an arm wrapped unconsciously around the angular curve of his hips....  
  
(......I didn't?...)  
  
Squall stiffened,his body reacting to the unfamiliar presence in the most sacred of places,no one shared Squall's bed without his consent.The body nuzzled it's head into his shoulder,moaning softly in it's slumber,wayward strands of hair tickled the back of his neck,whispering gently across the sensitive flesh,making him shiver in the cool morning air.  
  
(oh Hyne...........)  
  
The intruder to his duvet moved again,the hand slipped further down,grazing his abdomen,just below the navel.Squall gritted his teeth,frozen in this unwilling embrace,unable to break away,trapped in his own room.......  
  
(I have to get out of here........can't breathe.......)  
  
The air escaped from his lungs,a thick ball of fear rising into his throat to match the churning of his stomach.Who was lying next to him? Who had he......?  
  
(.....Don't think,just go......)  
  
But,something held Squall in place,a morbid necessity to know who was behind him,whose touch ignited such a reaction in the back of his head.....under the shroud of murky memories,the veil of forgotten yesterdays.He tried to remember the night before,his eyes shut tightly in concentration,to travel past the alcohol diseased barrier to the truth......  
  
**Last night**  
  
"No way!......I can drink you under the fuckin table man!"   
  
(It's all coming back.........)  
  
Zell smirked at him over the bar,a devilish sheen to his eyes,as he deposited two shotglasses of some unidentified spirit infront of a dubious looking Squall, "I don't know....what if-" He glanced nervously over at the others,Rinoa,chatting politely with Quistis,Selphie and Irvine lounging all over eachother on a sofa in the corner,Seifer,cracking obviously filthy jokes with his 'posse' at the bar.Zell waved away his concern with a nonchalant flick of his fingers, "Lighten up,we're on leave.....you're supposed to get plastered...." He paused,catching the anxious hint to Squall's stormcloud eyes,meeting them with his electric blue gaze and offering a genuine smile, "Just once,what could go wrong?" Squall sighed,his resolve caving almost audibly, "I guess..." He replied vaguely and tried to look enthusiastic,picking up the first shotglass and downing it with a sharp cough, "Strong eh?" Zell grinned and the contest began..  
  
(......I don't want to know.......)  
  
  
Squall groaned as someone dragged him to his feet,the street ahead seemed somehow different,tilted precariously to the side,tiny black dots swam before his eyes.He tasted the alcohol on his tongue,bitter and repulsive in the sheer quantity he'd consumed tonight....  
  
"Ugh....." His mind reeled and the sudden urge to just lie down and die in a shadowy corner occurred to his drunken brain more than once,but before he could consider that tempting prospect anymore the scenery had changed and he was being deposited on his bed,the strange flush of inebriation leaving his system,lucidity returning like a slap in the face,his rescuer sat beside him,whispering soft comforts in his ear,reassuring him that he'd be fine in the morning....  
  
(Well,that was a lie.......)  
  
Squall gasped as a hand made contact with his cheek,a single finger traced the line of his jaw,so tender in it's sympathy.....  
  
The figure,tinged by the ethereal moonlight streaming in through the open window,leant over him,a hand braced by the side of his head,lips,hot and moist grazed against his own,trailing kisses down the curve of his neck......following every line,every bone in his body.....Squall did as he had never done before.....still under the spell of inebriation.....he gave himself to another,surrendered to the sensations coursing through his body....not a thought spared for the feelings of tomorrow.....  
  
(......No.......)  
  
**Now**  
  
Squall tried desperately to control the swirl of panic,the wrenching feeling of disgust at himself.....how could he?.....What right did this person......who ever it was,who'd stolen his......virginity......have to lay claim on him when he was so vulnerable.......it could be anyone,he didn't care.....just not.......Squall pleaded with the silent room......not.....  
  
He rolled over,pushing the body back,not sure if he really wanted to see the face....  
  
(oh my god.........)  
  
The tanned skin,exotic tattoo gracing his unblemished cheek,sleep-mussed blonde bangs hanging over long-lashed eyes that were closed in peaceful sleep....chest rising and falling in a slow,steady rhythm...  
  
(Zell........?)  



End file.
